A THOUGHTLESS SEVEN

BY

AMY LE FEUVRE

AUTHOR OF "PROBABLE SONS," "TEDDY'S BUTTON," "ODD," "ERIC'S GOOD NEWS," "A PUZZLING PAIR," ETC.

WITH TWENTY-SEVEN ILLUSTRATIONS.

LONDON

THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY

4 Bouverie Street and 65 St. Paul's Churchyard E.C.

BY THE SAME AUTHOR A Bit of Rough Road. | Miss Lavender's Boy, and Heather's Mistress. | Other Sketches. The Mender. | Me and Nobbles. Odd made Even. A sequel | Odd. to "Odd." | A Puzzling Pair. The Carved Cupboard. | His Little Daughter. On the Edge of a Moor. | Bulbs and Blossoms. Dwell Deep; or, Hilda | Bunny's Friends. Thorn's Life Story. | Eric's Good News. Jill's Red Bag. | Probable Sons. Legend Led. | Teddy's Button. A Little Maid. | LONDON: THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY

CONTENTS ————

CHAP.

I. THOUGHTLESS

II. THINKING

III. STARTING

IV. TELLING

V. GROWING

VI. WORKING

VII. PRAYING

VIII. REAPING

A THOUGHTLESS SEVEN

CHAPTER I

Thoughtless

"SHE'S a good old soul in her way; but we are not infants in the nursery, and will manage a jolly sight better without her."

"And we'll have a good fling while we are about it, I say. For she said she would be back in a week."

"I shall do my best to keep order at mealtimes, of course; but I shan't be hard on you the rest of the day. Now, Doodle-doo, leave that cushion alone. Remember what the last one did."

It was Sunday afternoon, and we were all enjoying ourselves in the schoolroom upstairs. Dinner was over; there was a deluge of rain coming down; and the blazing fire and a bag of chestnuts were keeping us busy. It is needless to say that we were not sitting up in chairs in the orthodox fashion. Pat, the eldest of us, in his eighteenth year, was reposing full length on our shabby old couch; Taters was astride on one end of it; Honey was seated on the coal-scuttle, her feet inside the fender; and Thunder and I were lying flat on the hearthrug; whilst Doodle-doo was changing his position every minute, and trying to make every one else do the same.

Lest our names should be thought queer ones, I should explain that they were of our own coining; our baptismal ones were too respectable to find favour in our eyes. I went by the brief synonym of "Li," or "Lightning," as Thunder and I invariably did things together; and I certainly outdid them all in swiftness of thought and action.

I BROUGHT DOWN THE TABLECLOTH TO THE GROUND.

We had just recovered from scarlet fever; our parents were abroad, and our good old German governess had suddenly been summoned home to a dying mother. Nurse was with us, of course; but Pixie, a delicate little fellow of six, who had fared the worst of us all in the fever, took up much of her time and attention, and we elder ones had long ago escaped and defiee her rule.

"Throw us another nut," Pat demanded.

I threw, aiming with such exact precision at his nose, that with a yell he sprang up and gave chase to me round the table. Round and round we spun, until I brought down the table-cloth to the ground, and with it a china flower-pot of mignonette.

That sobered us, and we took up our former position again, Honey remarking, "I'm sure we ought to be better employed on Sunday afternoon than making such a row. Why don't some of you get a book to read?"

"I've read all the Sunday books again and again," I said with a sigh, for books were my delight.

"No one can keep pace with Li," observed Taters thoughtfully, as she left her seat to put another chestnut on the bars; "why don't you start reading the Bible? That would take you a few Sundays to get through."

I stared at her. "The Bible! Why, no one reads that for the sake of reading."

"What's the good of it, then?" demanded Taters, who was nothing if she was not argumentative.

"To preach from, of course," put in Doodle-doo; "and if I had the chance, I wouldn't give such rotten sermons out of it as we heard this morning."

"Well, come on; give us a sermon, if you are so good at it. We'll give you a chance, and a text too. Find him one, Li; there's a Bible on the bookshelf."

I found the Bible that Pat indicated, opened it in a hurry, and called out the first words that met my eye—"'One thing thou lackest.'"

Honey looked up gravely and sweetly. "You're not to make fun, Doodle-doo," she said.

Doodle-doo held himself erect, and ruffled his cock's-comb, as we called it, in the importance of his position.

"Ahem!" he began. "My sermon will be brief, but to the point. Pat, one thing thou lackest—'tis control of thy beastly temper. Honey, one thing thou lackest—'tis female tidiness. Taters, one thing thou lackest—'tis the knowledge that thou art an ignoramus. Thunder, one thing thou lackest—'tis a light and contented spirit. Lightning, one thing thou lackest—'tis patient perseverance."

"And, Doodle-doo, one thing thou lackest," I put in hastily—"'tis the art of keeping thy cackling voice still."

"Well, young people, what is the discussion?"

We turned round, and found that Miss Moffat from next door had quietly opened the door and come in amongst us. She was a little old maid whom we all loved. All through our illness she had been in and out, changing her dress most carefully each time to avoid spreading the infection. Books and fruit had been plentifully supplied, and we were not surprised to see her hands full of books and papers now.

"A little Sunday reading, my dears. I thought you might be in want of some. Are you telling each other of your faults, may I ask?"

"Doodle-doo is trying to preach," Tater said, her snub nose well in the air; "but his crows, like those of his namesake, are about nothing at all."

"And what is the subject?"

"'One thing thou lackest,' was the text I gave him," I said glibly. "Don't look so shocked, Miss Moffat; we weren't making fun of it."

"It is a solemn verse to take up so lightly," said our friend gravely. "Do you know the occasion of our Lord's saying those words?"

"Yes. Don't preach to us, there's a good soul;" and Pat threw up his long arms and stretched himself with a terrific yawn.

"I am on my way to read to a blind woman," said Miss Moffitt briskly; "there are your books."

Then looking over her spectacles at us in her quaint, sweet way, she said—

"There is 'one thing lacking' with each one of you boys and girls. Try and find it out for yourselves, and let me know when you succeed in getting it. I should not like to see any of you one day 'weighed in the balances and found wanting.'"

And then she left us.

There was silence for a few minutes; we were busy distributing the literature which had been brought us.

Then Thunder observed, knitting his black brows into a heavier frown than usual—

"I shouldn't have thought little Moffat was a religious person; but you can never see through a woman—they're always up to artful dodges."

"She isn't religious," Doodle-doo said; "she only wanted to add force to my little preach."

"Shut up," said Pat, giving a kick at him as he passed the sofa; "my 'beastly temper' won't stand a word more from you."

"She's not a goody person, nor a prig," argued Taters, "so she can't be religious; and her face is as round and ruddy as an apple."

"What is a religious person?" I asked. "I don't mean a hypocrite, but a real true one. What do they believe that we don't believe? Why should it be such an awfully canty thing to be good?"

"Are you going to try it, Li?"

"I sometimes think," said Honey meditatively, as she deliberately poked her slippered foot into the red-hot embers and stirred them into a blaze, "that after all 'we' may be the hypocrites. What did we kneel down and pray for in church this morning?—'Grant that we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life.' We haven't the smallest intention of doing it."

"Don't talk rot!" was Pat's response to this.

And, turning to our books, we dropped the subject.

CHAPTER II

Thinking

"WHAT'S the row with old Li?" "Give her a pinch, Thunder; she's half asleep." "She's planning some fiendish trick, I bet." We were at breakfast, and Honey, who was pouring out the coffee, looked across at me curiously after these remarks. "She was talking in her sleep last night, and jumping about like a dancing doll; I expect the chestnuts gave her indigestion."

"Rubbish!" I said quickly. "If you had had the horrible dreams I had, you wouldn't feel very spry in the morning. It was awful; I didn't sleep a wink."

"Li is a wonder," said Pat admiringly; "she dreams wide awake, and eats her breakfast fast asleep."

I was about to retort angrily, when the door opened, and nurse appeared with Pixie. The seven years between him and Taters made him appear a perfect baby to us, and we all petted him accordingly. He was a pale, fragile little fellow, with a quaintness and courage all his own; but in spite of his old-fashioned talk, he was a thorough child.

"I want one of you young ladies to take Master Lionel out this morning; it's my busy day," announced nurse.

"All right; I'll take him," said I.

"Don't walk him off his legs, and bring him in before twelve o'clock."

Saying which, nurse departed; and we began to make our plans for the day. Pat and Doodle-doo were going out on their bicycles, Taters and Honey out shopping, and, after a little persuasion, Thunder said he would come to the common with Pixie and me. Our house was in a London suburb; but the common stretched away to green fields and lanes, and was a favourite resort of ours.

Pixie, as usual, was full of talk, and beguiled the way by his extraordinary questions and ideas.

It was a bright sunny morning, and wonderfully mild for the time of year; so when we arrived at the common, Thunder and I rested on one of the seats, whilst Pixie played about.

"I wonder when Pater will write and suggest a change of air for us!" grumbled Thunder. "We ought to go off to the sea or somewhere! I don't think I shall ever be the same again as I was before that rotten fever! I'm quite fagged out now with this bit of a walk!"

"Fancy if one of us had died!" I said lugubriously; for Thunder's remarks were never cheering, and I did not feel in a mood to comfort him. "You or I might have. If we had, I wonder what we should have been doing now?"

Thunder's black brows scowled. "You needn't have such dismal fancies!"

"Well, but," I persisted, "I half think I may be going to die; for I had such awful dreams last night! I can't help feeling they were warnings."

"What were they like?"

"I kept feeling myself in a pair of scales, and I couldn't make myself heavy enough to keep down—I would swing up in the air! I clutched hold of the sides of the scale, and pressed down with my whole weight, but it was no good, and all the time a voice kept repeating, like the tick of a clock, 'Weighed in the balances and found wanting! One thing thou lackest!' I woke up in an awful fright, and couldn't get to sleep for ages, and when I did, I dreamt again, that I was running for my life away from Miss Moffat, who, brandishing a red-hot poker close to my eyes, was shrieking out, 'One thing thou lackest!'"

Thunder laughed.

I added seriously, "We're a wicked lot, and I'm really and truly going to find out the one thing lacking with me. I won't stand another night like last night. What is it, Pixie?"

"DID HE SEE ME JUST NOW WHEN I WAS PLAYING?"

He was standing before us with troubled eyes.

"Is God looking out of the sky this morning?"

"I suppose so," I said; "Why?"

"Did He see me just now, when I was playing at killing a snake?"

"What have you been doing?" I asked severely.

"I've cut one of God's dear little worms into two pieces! Will He be angry?"

"Go and stick them together again!" laughed Thunder.

But tears were very near the surface with Pixie, and clasping his hands, he went on—

"I was going to be 'such' a good boy to-day, and I didn't really mean to kill the little worm with my stick—it was too soft! Will God forgive me, do you think?"

"Of course He will," I said impatiently; "you didn't mean to do it." Then, with a change of tone, I said, "Will you go to heaven if you die, Pixie?"

He looked at me, then nodded. "Jesus loves Pixie, and Pixie wants to go to Him in heaven very much sometimes!"

He ran away to play, and I said with a sigh, "He has got what we haven't. I shouldn't go to heaven if I died; neither would you, old Thun! Fancy the difference between Pixie's conscience and ours, if he thinks cutting a worm in two an awful sin!"

Thunder remained silent for a little; then he said—

"Being religious won't suit you, Li; don't you try it! You could never keep up being a prig, if you started!"

"Look here!" I said warmly. "I don't intend being a prig; but if I like to turn religious I shall, and no one shall stop me!"

I jumped up from the seat, and started running races with Pixie, whilst Thunder whipped out a thrilling tale from his pocket, and sat on reading till it was time to go home. I laughed and talked my loudest for the rest of the day; but I was miserable. "One thing thou lackest," rang in my ears. And at last, after our evening meal was over, I slipped away from all the noise and laughter in the schoolroom, and went down to the dining-room, where a bright fire was blazing. Then, taking hold of a Bible I found there, I drew up a chair to the fire, and commenced studying the story of the young man who lacked the one thing.

"I suppose," I said to myself, "that his fault was not following Christ; but it must be awfully difficult to lead a good life! I suppose if I was to start I should have to say prayers half an hour long, and be always reading the Bible, which is so dry. I should have to give up all fun, and story-books, and fighting with the boys; and then they'd all hate me, and vote me a prig! Oh, I couldn't do it! It would be as dull as ditch water! Yet I do want, oh, I do want to be sure of heaven! I know I'm not right; I know I'm awfully wicked. If only God would turn me suddenly into a saint without any trouble on my part! I'm sure some people get converted like that. Yet I don't want to be a regular goody-goody; I despise them so—they're always so full of cant. I don't know what I want. I should like to be right with God, and not be so afraid of Him! This young man went away grieved, it says; he couldn't do it. I suppose I shouldn't have to give up riches to follow Christ, because I haven't any to give up; but I should have to give up other things quite as bad."

THEN, WITH A WHOOP AND A RUSH, IN TUMBLED DOODLE-DOO AND TATERS! IN AN INSTANT I WAS ON MY FEET; STUFFING THE BIBLE UNDER THE CUSHION OF MY CHAIR.

And so I meditated, and at last such an overwhelming sense of my own wickedness and shortcomings came over me that I dropped on my knees, and put up the first real prayer in life, though perhaps it may sound a queer one.

"O God, I'll follow Christ, if You'll make it easy for me. I don't want to be turned into a goody person, but I do want to be right at the Judgment Day. I do want my sins forgiven, but don't let me have to give up all fun. And will You put me straight at once—to-night? I can't stop till to-morrow."

Then I waited for something to happen—some wonderful feeling to come over me; but it didn't come.

And then, with a whoop and a rush, in tumbled Doodle-doo and Taters!

In an instant I was on my feet; stuffing the Bible under the cushion of my chair.

"Aha! We've caught the truant! She looks quite guilty. Take hold of her legs, Taters, and I'll take her arms, and we'll find out what she's been doing!"

But I was not so easily caught, and for the next ten minutes we had a breathless chase through the house, until nurse held me fast.

"Miss Mary, I'm ashamed of you! Nearly fifteen, and romping like a boy! Go to the schoolroom and be quiet. You've woke Master Lionel out of his first sleep, and now he'll be restless for an hour or so. How I wish Fräulein were here!"

A wish poor nurse very often expressed!

CHAPTER III

Starting

I LAY awake that night thinking. Honey and I shared the same room. She generally made me impatient by her leisurely movements, and I was often fast asleep long before she came to bed; but now I lay awake and listened to her heavy breathing—sleep would not come to me. Why had not God answered my prayer? I had been quite honest about it. How was it I felt just the same, and nothing had happened? And then again the refrain began in my ears, "One thing thou lackest. Weighed in the balances, and found wanting."

"I do wish I had never found out that troublesome text! I suppose it is a judgment on me for treating it so lightly. I wonder what became of that young man; where is he now? I suppose he is either in heaven or hell this very minute; and if he is in hell, what would he give to have another chance—to have 'my' chance?"

And then I could bear my thoughts no longer. Out of bed I crept; and, shivering, knelt in the darkness and cold.

"O God, I'm afraid I wasn't in earnest. I'm in dead earnest now. I'll give up everything, and won't care what the others say, if only You will forgive and convert me. I'll give up all story-books if they're wicked, and will read nothing but the Bible. I'll follow Christ at all costs, however difficult and gloomy it will be. I 'must' be forgiven. I ask Thee now to save me, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen."

Again I laid my head down on my pillow, and this time was soon fast asleep, never waking till our maid came to call us the next morning.

"You're rather silent, Li," said Honey, as she brushed out her golden hair. "Are you half asleep still?"

"No; I'm very much awake," was my response. "I am having very serious thoughts. Honey, do you believe God answers prayer?"

"I suppose so."

"How do we know He does?"

"By getting the answer, I should think. And, of course, the Bible says so."

"Where?" And I rushed to a small table and took hold of my Bible at once.

"I don't know," said Honey, eyeing me perplexedly. "Isn't there a verse somewhere, 'Ask, and it shall be given you'?"

"Yes, of course there is. The fact is, last night I asked God to—well, you know, convert me—make me a proper Christian, and I want to know if He has done it. I don't feel any different this morning. Do I look any different? Do you think He has done it?"

"Li, you aren't making fun, are you?"

"Fun! I'm in downright sober earnest! I'm going to follow Christ. I promised last night, so no more larks for me. I shall be reading my Bible most of the day—at least, do you think an hour a day would be enough to begin with?" My tone was rather pitiful, for the prospect seemed dreary.

But Honey did not answer; she looked quite dazed.

"If I only knew for certain God had answered me, I wouldn't mind," I went on; "but of course I have promised to live as a Christian, and I must try. You may have my skates, Honey; if we do get a frost this winter, I shall never skate again. I wonder if I ought to go to church every day?"

"You sound as if you're going to die," observed Honey.

"If I was sure it was all right with me, I should like to. I think directly people are ready for heaven they ought to go there. It is too tantalizing to be obliged to stay down here seeing other people having good times, and being out of them oneself. I don't know how I shall do it, but I'm going to have a try."

Before we left our room in the morning, we always went through the form of kneeling by our bed for a minute. To-day I felt it was no longer a form; again I implored for pardon, and asked to be kept straight in the narrow path that led to life; and then we went down to breakfast.

"If I were you, Li," said Honey on the staircase, "I wouldn't say anything to the boys about your feelings—not until you are more sure of yourself. I won't breathe a word."

"I never can keep anything secret long," I said dubiously; "but I'll have a try."

The boys did not trouble me; they were full of an expedition they had planned, and this was for all of us to go and see a bachelor uncle of ours who lived about twelve miles away.

"We'll take him by surprise," said Pat; "I'll hire a trap from the livery stables round the corner, and drive you girls; and Doodle-doo and Thunder can come on their bikes. We shall have to start in about an hour. He is sure to stand us a jolly lunch, and it will be no end of a spree."