Christmas at McCarthy’s

These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music is easy, and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. Price 25 cents each. Five copies, $1.00.

WE HOPE YOU’VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG. A welcome song that will at once put the audience in a joyous frame of mind and create a happy impression that will mean half the success of your entire program. Words, bright and inspiring. Music, catchy.

WE’LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE. This beautiful song has snap and go that will appeal alike to visitors and singers. It is just the song to send your audience home with happy memories of the occasion.

WE’VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN. This song will bring memories to the listeners of their own bashful school days. Words, unusually clever. Music, decidedly melodious. A capital welcome song, or it may be sung at any time on the program with assured success.

MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE THEE. A song that will bring a thrill of patriotism to the heart of every one who hears it. The children and grown-ups just can’t resist the catchy music. It makes a capital marching song.

COME AND PARTAKE OF OUR WELCOME CAKE. A merry welcome song and a jolly one, too. The audience will be immediately curious about the Welcome Cake, and the children will love to surprise the listeners with the catchy words. Music, easy and tuneful.

LULLABY LANE. The music and words blend so beautifully that people will be humming the appealing strains long after they hear this charming song. A wonderfully effective closing song, whether sung by the school or as a solo by a little girl, with a chorus of other little girls with dolls.

JOLLY PICKANINNIES. Words by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Music by Edna R. Worrell. This spicy coon song will bring down the house, especially if you use the directions for the motions which accompany the music. The black faces and shining eyes of the pickaninnies will guarantee a hit. The words are great and the music just right.

THE LITTLE BIRD’S SECRET. Here is just the song for those two little folks to sing together. They won’t have to be coaxed to sing it, especially when they find that the whole school is to whistle the chorus. This is a decided novelty, and will prove a rare treat to your audience.

A GARDEN ROMANCE. This is a dainty little song telling of the romance and wedding of Marigold and Sweet William. It is just the song for dainty little girls to sing.

COME TO THE NURSERY RHYME GARDEN AND PLAY. Here is something different for the little folks to sing. The Nursery Rhyme Folk are so familiar to children, it will be no trick for them to remember the words. The music has a most captivating swing.

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SCENE I.

(Setting—The sidewalk outside of “Murphy’s Tinement.” Have a couple of low, wide steps, if possible. The children are gathered on and around these steps. Use plenty of children—as many as convenient. Small children from two to six or seven may be used as little brothers and sisters to those who have the speaking parts. As curtain rises, some of the children are playing “Button, button,” on the lowest step, and others are playing “Hop-scotch” at one side. The smallest ones hug dilapidated dollies, rolled up from rags. One has a small wheel, such as might have been on a little cart, once. Enter Jimmy and Elsie—hurry along to group.)

Katie—Sold out so soon?

Jimmy—Ivery blissid paper av thim. Sure, ’twas the swate face of Ilsie did it. I do be a thinkin’. An’ ivery sowl that bought a paper, almost, axed quistions about her. Guess they thought she was a high-born leddy, and me a stealthy, crapy kidnapper. Shure, an’ she got a foine chanst to be a leddy, and she wouldn’t take it, at all, at all! Think av that, now!

Connie—How could she get a chanst to be a leddy, when she’s jist a bit av a colleen?

Cleopatra—Ah reck’n he means to be quality. Did some quality lady wanter stole yer, honey chile?

Elsie—Lady wanted to take me ’way fum Jimmy. She said, fere was mine mutter dat her let me does papers to sell? And I wasn’t selling dose papers at all! Jimmy was selling ’em. And I telled her mine mutter was to Himmel gone, and mine fader was all loss, and—

Jimmy—And she wanted to take her home to be her little gel, ’n whin I said we couldn’t spare the sunny face av her, she tried to wheedle her away! Bad ’cess to her!

Elsie—And she said I wasn’t Jimmy’s little sister at all, she did!

Jimmy—And she axed, she did, as purry as a cat, could we afford to kape a growin’ choild that didn’t belong to us, and I says to her, says I, “Ilsie belongs to the whole tinement, that she does!” And she axed how that was, and I told her how Mrs. Ferrari slapes her, and Mrs. Omstrom ates her, and Aunt Bridget washes her, and[4] Mrs. Washington minds her, and Mr. Opperman buys her bit clothes, and you girls kape her tidy, and I buy her hair ribbins, and she laughed, and called her a communerty orphin.

Elsie—And I telled her I wasn’t no orfing, I was Jimmy’s little sister, and she laughed some more, and she said I was pretty, and she gaved me this. (shows quarter.)

Micky—Begorra, what a lot av money! It’s a capitalist ye’ll be afther being, like the Rocky feller.

Jimmy—And thin, bedad, she began to wheedle, and she promised her foine drisses, and a babby doll, and a cab to wheel it in, and iverything ye could think about, and more, too, begorry. And thin if she didn’t up and offer her a Christmas tree!

Katie—A Christmas tree! Why didn’t she offer her the earth, with a noice little pick fince around it? And ye wouldn’t lave us for a Christmas tree, Elsie darlint?

Elsie—“No,” I said, “Jimmy will buy me a Christmas tree a’reddy.”

Mickey—Like fun he will! Does she think Jimmy’s a millionair?

Jimmy—And she asked where did we live, and I said, “over at the South side,” says I, and I mutters “over the lift” to mesilf and says she, “I’m a coming to see yer mother,” she says. And says I, wid the face av me as sober as a praste, “Me mither’s me ant, for the rale mither av me’s over in Ould Oirland in a churchyard, where she’s been iver since jist before I was born, or jist afther, I forgit which, its so long ago.”

Elsie—And she laughed, and said she was going to haf her pretty baby, yet a’retty, but I won’t with that lady go. I will stay with my Jimmy. Jimmy won’t let her get me.

Jimmy—Don’t worry the golden braids av yer, Ilsie love. I gave her shtrate way out at the South side that isn’t there at all, at all, and bedad, she’ll hunt awhile before she finds that addriss, and whin she does, it’ll be the wrong one.

Elsie—(confidently) And Jimmy will buy me a Christmas, won’t you, Jimmy?

Jimmy—Maybe, Ilsie love, a little one.

Elsie—No, a big one, with a big, big tree.

Caesar—Dar don’t no trees grow in de city, Ailsie honey, not cut down ones.

Elsie—They grow the stores in. Mine fader always did buy me one.

Luigi—Maybe we mighta, all togetta, buy a leedla one. I could de shoesa polish, and get some mon’.

Caesar—An’ I kin hold de gemman’s hosses, ’n run arrantses.

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Micky—Let’s all try hard and see if we can’t get Elsie a little Christmas tree.

Elsie—I don’t a little Christmas want. I wants a big Christmas and a big tree, like mine fader always did me get.

Katie—But you see, Elsie, we’re all poor folks, and—

Elsie—Jimmy will buy me a Christmas—a big Christmas, and a big tree. I know he will.

Micky—Gee, Jimmy! It’s up to you, all right.

Mr. Opperman—(entering) Vot vos up to Chimmy?

Caesar—Ter cunjur up a big Christmas tree fo’ Ailsie. She done boun’ ter have one.

Elsie—Mine fader did get me one always, Mr. Opperman.

Opperman—Vell, vell, ve never did yet have van Christmas here yet a’retty, but meppe ve might half von leedle von, if ve all chip in togedder. Be patient a’retty, mine leedle fraulein, and ve’ll see vot ve’ll see!

Elsie—But I don’t want one little tree, I want one big one like mine fader always did me get. Jimmy will buy me one. I know he will. I’m Jimmy’s little sister. He did buy for me these hair ribbons of the blue color.

Caesar—You’ll half ter do it, Jimmy, whedder or no, as de preachah say.

Elsie—You know, Mr. Opperman. You one German was, too. You know the German kinder do always one big Christmas tree have. Mustn’t I have one?

Opperman—Vell, vell, leedle Madchen, I vos sure von Cherman, but I vos von Cherman Chew a’retty. Der Chews no Christmas do keep, nor drees.

Elsie—(beginning to cry) I must have one big Christmas tree. I must. And no one wants me my tree to have but Jimmy.

Jimmy—There, there, Ilsie, don’t spoil the swate eyes av yez wid cryin’, ans we’ll think up a way somehow. (Mrs. McCarthy, Mrs. Ferrari, Mrs. Omstrom, and Mrs. Washington come out and seat themselves on the steps.)

Chloe—(taking Elsie into her lap) What dey bin a doin’ to mammy Chloe’s li’l white lambie?

Bridget—Which av ye spalpeens hov bin afther makin’ the wee colleen wape, now? Be shame to yez, who iver yez are!

Elsie—They don’t want me my Christmas to have a’retty.

Bridget—And who’s bin afther puttin’ Christmas into the hid av her? You, Jim, I’ll bet a sixpince. Yez do spile the choild, most awful.

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Jimmy—’Twasn’t me, nather. ’Twas a foine leddy who wanted to adopt her, av yez plaze, or av yez don’t plaze, either.

Chloe—’Dopt her? Den she’d be quality, like she ottah be, but ole mammy Chloe would miss her li’l white missy.

Bridget—Bedad, an’ she can’t have her, thin. She’s the baby of all Murphy’s tinement, and betwane us we’ll get up a Christmas for her if she’s thot set on it. I kin take in an ixtry wash or two, mebbe. Sure me own little spalpeens have niver had a Christmas yit, nor Jimsie, naythur.

Jimmy—I don’t need any, Aunt Bridget, but Elsie wants one that bad, she can’t same to do widout it.

Elsie—Mine fader did always one tree for me get.

Carlotta—How mucha one tree he costa?

Opperman—Ve von leedle von could get vor—led me see—

Elsie—I don’t one little one want. I want one big one.

Chloe—Shuah you do, ma honey. Like de quality allers has, a-settin’ in de parlah, an’ a-reachin’ clar up to de high ceilin’, wid candles a-twinklin’ an’ pretty, tings a-shinin’. Mammy’s seen ’em, in de Souf. If we was dah, now! Dey grows dah, an’ Pompey could go out wid his axe an’ cut one down fo’ his li’l Missy.

Elsie—(very eager) Yes, Mammy Chloe, that just what I want! Just like the tree I always did have every Christmas.

Carlotta—But where we so mucha mon’ getta?

Hilda—They haff the so large trees the churches in. What bane they do with them after?

Opperman—Dot vos so! Dot Svede voman vos one pargin hunter a’retty. Dot tree be segond hand de day after de Christmas, and he gome cheap.

Chloe—Mah Pompey he know dah sextant ob dat big chu’ch on Ellum Street, ’n ah reckon he’ll git it mo’n cheap. Yo’ shill hab yo’ tree, Ailsie lamb.

Tony—I wanta tree, too.

Elsie—It will be one tree for everbody, a’retty.

Bridget—So it shall. The entire communerty of inhabitints is invoited to be prisint at a gran Christmas party, with a tree, refrishments and an intertainmint, in McCarthy’s fore room the noight afther Christmas.

Elsie—No, not the night after; I want it the Christmas Day on.

Bridget—And so it will be, bedad! I hereby make the announcemint that Christmas at McCarthy’s will be the twinty-sixth of Dacimber this year, and thot’s whin we’ll have our grand hippodromy.

Mickey—Begorry, it’s mither knows the grand worrds!

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Carlotta—My Antonio, he giva da peanutta and da poppa, and da bambinos sewa it da stringa on.

Hilda—I can sweetmeats make.

Chloe—Ole Chloe know how make all de good tings—de crullahs an’ cakes.

Katie—Mither makes foine melasses candy.

Bridget—Yis, ’n I know how to make a whole cirrcus of animiles, all av cooky dough.

Opperman—Mine brudder he work a varm on. I git him zum abbles me to send. I—I—I gif von prezent to efery laddy in der tinemint!

Chloe—Purty good foh an ole bach! He, he! Chloe knows how to mek a heap o’ li’l knick-knacks out o’ nuffin. I show yo’ li’l gals how mek de nice Christmas gif’. Yo’ wait’n see.

Jimmy—And everybody there must have somethin’ fer Ilsie, fer ’twas her got it up. Murphy’s tinemint niver kipt Christmas before.

Bridget—It’s goin’ ter do thot same this year, me bye. Remimber, at McCarthy’s the avenin of the twinty-sixth, and ivery blissed sowl must do something for the grand vodyville intertainmint.

Opperman—But vy your rooms, instead of dose room of mine? Mine der piggest is, und downstairs, a’retty, und you all vould velcome be.

Bridget—Sure yours is the biggest, an’ the most cluttered, I’d be thinkin’. Yez see, Mr. Opperman, yer one room is pretty well filled wid yer shtove an’ yer bed, an’ yer table, an’ all your clutter, which a old bachelor niver doos pick up nor clane up, and me own fore room is large and nearly impty, wid the parlor set Oi’ll be afther havin’ some day shtill in the shtore, and it’s the foine place for the parrty, nayther way up shtairs nor way down, an’ it’s there let it be.

Chloe—(starting up) Dar’s de whistle a-blowin’, chillen. Pappy’ll be hum ter he suppah in two shakes ob a lamb’s tale. (All the women hurry in, and the children stand up, and wave their hands and shout.)

Micky—Three chairs fer Christmas at McCarthy’s!

All—Rah, rah rah! (Run off in both directions.)

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SCENE II.

(McCarthy’s “fore room,” with “the tree” in the corner. To make the tree, take three old umbrellas—the skeletons only. They should be open. Plant the handle of the first one in a tub of earth, strengthening it, and making it firmer, by four pieces of wire fastened to the ribs, coming down, obliquely, and anchoring firmly to the tub. A second umbrella is fastened to the first, the handle of this one running down by the central wire of the first, and the two wired firmly together. A third one—and this should be one with a “crookhandle,” hangs downward from the ceiling, just above the second. Wire till all is firm and strong, but have the work crude. This “tree” is draped with green tissue paper, cut into leaves of every size and shape. Flowers and ornaments of bright tissue paper adorn it, and to every point is firmly fastened a piece of candle. The ornaments should be very simple—cut-out hearts, stars, etc., paper chains, lanterns, and Jacob’s ladders, etc. At the top is fastened a large star, covered with the silver foil that comes around

compressed yeast cakes. This should have rays of broomstraws, also covered with the foil. There should be a great deal of ornament. Here and there are a few pieces of the gay-colored glass balls used for decorating Christmas trees. Strings of popcorn and cranberries also adorn the tree. Hovering over the top is a paper angel, and at the bottom is a penny picture of the nativity. There should be a good many penny sticks of candy on the tree, and a few “oranges” of crepe or tissue paper. A large basket of apples stands near the tree, while another basket and the floor around are heaped with “the prisints,” in all sorts of rude bundles. Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy are alone in the room, giving the last touches to “the tree.”)

Bridget—Sure, and it’s one grand evint for Murphy’s tinemint! Look at thot tree now, will yez? Who but Jimmy wood iver have thought av it! Sure the Baby’s eyes were full av tears, and she shtamped the little fut av her, and she says, says she, “Khristhmas is the twinty-fifth av Dacimber, not the twinty-sixth,” says she. Ivery buddy do be a saying so, and I won’t have a second hand Christmas, Jimmy, I won’t. And little cud she know av the high cost of living. She wud have a big tree, and she would have it to-night. Bedad, if’t had bin one av me own little spalpeens, I’d have given her a taste av me hand, where it wud do the most good, but ye can’t spank an orphin, and I was that distracted I didn’t know what to do, but Jimmy, he says, says he, pert as an eyster, “We’ll[9] have it the roight night, Ilsie, if it’ll bitter suit yez. And we won’t have no second hand tree, nuther,” says he. “We’ll have a brand new, original kind’t nobuddy niver had before.” And Ilsie she stopped a wapin’, and began to look interested. “And ye must

promise me that ye’re goin’ ter loike it,” he says, ’cause Jimmy’s plannin’ it all for his little sister, to make her happy.

Sure and ivery one in the tinemint has brought a prisint for Ilsie, It’s rich she’ll be whin it’s over, I do be a-thinkin’.

Pat—She will that same. And begorry, it is a foine tree, and ivery choild in the tinemint will injye it, I do be a-thinkin’. Arrah! here they come! (Voices outside. Jimmy speaks up loudly.)

Jimmy—No, no, now. No breakin’ ranks. Kape in yer places, now, and no crowdin’. It’s two and two ye’re afther goin’ in, as Noah’s beasties wint inter the Ark. And Ilsie’s a comin’ first, cause if’t hadn’t bin fer Ilsie there wudn’t a one of ye had a spick av a Christmas, no more than ye iver did afore.

Elsie—I want to go in now, Jimmy, I do.

Jimmy—Thin knock thray toimes on the dure wit’ yer fairy wand, and if the little payple have all shcampered out av soight, the dure’ll open. (Three knocks are heard, Pat swings open the door, and all march in.)

Children—Oh! Ah! It’s the beautiful tree!

Jimmy—Merry Christmas, iverybody!

Children—(enthusiastically) Merry Christmas, iverybody! (The grown people have followed the children into the room. There should be improvised seats of boxes, barrels, and boards. They seat themselves, and look expectantly at Elsie.)

(Elsie buries her face on Jimmy’s shoulder and begins to cry.)

Jimmy—Fhwat ails yez, Ilsie darlint? Tell Jimmy fhwat’s the matter av ye!

Elsie—It—it is not one Christmas tree, aretty. It—it is not one tree at all.

Jimmy—Sure it is. Don’t yez see the green on the branches av it?

Elsie—(looking up a minute) They is not no branches at all.

Pat—Thin what be they?

Elsie—I don’t know, but they no branches are, and that no tree is, whatever.

Other Children—(indignantly) It’s a foine tree!

Elsie—It is not no tree at all! Jimmy, you did said I should have one.

Jimmy—And you said you wud loike it if Jimmy got it for yez, and now yez don’t. Oh, Ilsie, pit!

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Katie—(kneeling by Elsie) Ilsie, darlint, poor Jimmy fales awful bad. Do yez want him to crry?

Elsie—I do feel bad, too, Katie. He said I should have a Christmas tree, he did!

Katie—And he got ye one—a foine one! “Sure,” says he, “She’s had German trees a lot av toimes, but she’s niver had one av this koind, and bedad, Oi’ll git it fer her, cost it what it will,” says he; and he’s done it, and now yez don’t loike it! That isn’t a nice grateful little Ilsie at all.

Elsie—Is it a tree, really Katie—one new kind, aretty?

Katie—It is thot same, colleen Bawn. It’s—it’s—dear me, I disremember the name av it.

Pat—It’s a Pollyglot tree, that’s fhwat it is, and a rare koind, too. And to think she doosn’t care fer thot same, whin Jimmy got it be purpose for her!

Elsie—I do like it, aretty. Jimmy, don’t you cry once. It’s a nice new kind of a tree, and I does like it.

Jimmy—Thin thray cheers fer the grand Christmas tree! (all join.)

Elsie—There candy is on it, and candles, and the angel flies over the top aretty. It is a nice tree, Jimmy.

Tony—I wants candy.

Carlotta—Not yet-a is the candy time-a. Mia bambino mus’ wait-a.

Bridget—Yis, furrst is the grand vodyville intertainmint by the inhabitints of Murphy’s tinemint. Read off the names, Katy darlint.

Katy—First is the spache av wilcome, by Patrick O’Rafferty McCarthy.