CURIOUS EPITAPHS.

MARTYRS’ MONUMENT, EDINBURGH.

Curious Epitaphs

Collected and Edited with Notes

By William Andrews

LONDON: WILLIAM ANDREWS & CO., 5, FARRINGDON AVENUE, E.C. 1899.

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF CUTHBERT BEDE, B.A., Author of “Verdant Green,” etc., AS A TOKEN OF GRATITUDE FOR LITERARY ASSISTANCE AND SYMPATHY GIVEN IN YEARS AGONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN. W. A.

Preface.

This work first appeared in 1883 and quickly passed out of print. Some important additions are made in the present volume. It is hoped that in its new form the book may find favour with the public and the press.

William Andrews.

The Hull Press, May Day, 1899.

Contents.

[Pg 1]

CURIOUS EPITAPHS.

Epitaphs on Tradesmen.

Many interesting epitaphs have been placed to the memory of tradesmen. Often they are not of an elevating character, nor highly poetical, but they display the whims and oddities of men. We will first present a few relating to the watch and clock-making trade. The first specimen is from Lydford churchyard, on the borders of Dartmoor:—

Here lies, in horizontal position, the outside case of George Routleigh, Watchmaker; Whose abilities in that line were an honour to his profession. Integrity was the Mainspring, and prudence the Regulator, of all the actions of his life. Humane, generous, and liberal, his Hand never stopped till he had relieved distress. [Pg 2]So nicely regulated were all his motions, that he never went wrong, except when set a-going by people who did not know his Key; even then he was easily set right again. He had the art of disposing his time so well, that his hours glided away in one continual round of pleasure and delight, until an unlucky minute put a period to his existence. He departed this life Nov. 14, 1802, aged 57: wound up, in hopes of being taken in hand by his Maker; and of being thoroughly cleaned, repaired, and set a-going in the world to come.

In the churchyard of Uttoxeter, a monument is placed to the memory of Joseph Slater, who died November 21st, 1822, aged 49 years:—

Our next is from Berkeley, Gloucestershire:—

The following is from Bolsover churchyard, Derbyshire:—

Here lies, in a horizontal position, the outside case of Thomas Hinde, Clock and Watch-maker, Who departed this life, wound up in hope of being taken in hand by his Maker, and being thoroughly cleaned, repaired, and set a-going in the world to come, On the 15th of August, 1836, In the 19th year of his age.

Respecting the next example, Mr. Edward Walford, M.A., wrote to the Times as follows: Close to the south-western corner of the parish[Pg 4] churchyard of Hampstead there has long stood a square tomb, with a scarcely decipherable inscription, to the memory of a man of science of the last century, whose name is connected with the history of practical navigation. The tomb, having stood there for more than a century, had become somewhat dilapidated, and has lately undergone a careful restoration at the cost and under the supervision of the Company of Clock-makers, and the fact is recorded in large characters on the upper face. The tops of the upright iron railings which surround the tomb have been gilt, and the restored inscription runs as follows:—

In memory of Mr. John Harrison, late of Red Lion-square, London, inventor of the time-keeper for ascertaining the longitude at sea. He was born at Foulby, in the county of York, and was the son of a builder of that place, who brought him up to the same profession. Before he attained the age of 21, he, without any instruction, employed himself in cleaning and repairing clocks and watches, and made a few of the former, chiefly of wood. At the age of 25 he employed his whole time in chronometrical improvements. He was the inventor of the gridiron pendulum, and the method of preventing the effects of heat and cold upon time-keepers by two bars fixed together; he introduced the secondary spring, to keep them going while winding up, and was the inventor of most (or all) the improvements in clocks and watches during his time. In the year 1735 his first time keeper [Pg 5]was sent to Lisbon, and in 1764 his then much improved fourth time-keeper having been sent to Barbadoes, the Commissioners of Longitude certified that he had determined the longitude within

one-third of half a degree of a great circle, having not erred more than forty seconds in time. After sixty years’ close application to the above pursuits, he departed this life on the 24th day of March, 1776, aged 83.

In an epitaph in High Wycombe churchyard, life is compared to the working of a clock. It runs thus:—

We have some curious specimens of engineers’ epitaphs. A good example is copied from the churchyard of Bridgeford-on-the-Hill, Notts:—

[Pg 6]Sacred to the memory of John Walker, the only son of Benjamin and Ann Walker, Engineer and Pallisade Maker, died September 22nd, 1832, aged 36 years.

Our next is on a railway engine-driver, who died in 1840, and was buried in Bromsgrove churchyard:—

In the Ludlow churchyard is a headstone to the memory of John Abingdon “who for forty years drove the Ludlow stage to London, a trusty servant, a careful driver, and an honest man.” He died in 1817, and his epitaph is as follows:—

The epitaph we next give is on the driver of the coach that ran between Aylesbury and London, by the Rev. H. Bullen, Vicar of Dunton, Bucks, in whose churchyard the man was buried:—

Lord Byron wrote on John Adams, carrier, of Southwell, Nottinghamshire, an epitaph as follows:—

On Hobson, the famous University carrier, the following lines were written:—

In Trinity churchyard, Sheffield, formerly might be seen an epitaph on a bookseller, as follows:—

The following epitaph was written on James Lackington, a celebrated bookseller, and eccentric character:—

At Rugby, on Joseph Cave, Dr. Hawksworth wrote:—

Near this place lies the body of Joseph Cave, Late of this parish; Who departed this life Nov. 18, 1747, Aged 79 years.

[Pg 11]He was placed by Providence in a humble station; but industry abundantly supplied the wants of nature, and temperance blest him with content and wealth. As he was an affectionate father, he was made happy in the decline of life by the deserved eminence of his eldest son,

Edward Cave,

who, without interest, fortune, or connection, by the native force of his own genius, assisted only by a classical education, which he received at the Grammar School of this town, planned, executed, and established a literary work called

The Gentleman’s Magazine,

whereby he acquired an ample fortune, the whole of which devolved to his family.

Here also lies The body of William Cave,

second son of the said Joseph Cave, who died May 2, 1757, aged 62 years, and who, having survived his elder brother,

Edward Cave,

inherited from him a competent estate; and, in gratitude to his benefactor, ordered this monument to perpetuate his memory.

The well-known blacksmith’s epitaph, said to be written by the poet Hayley, may be found in many churchyards in this country. It formed the[Pg 12] subject of a sermon delivered on Sunday, the 27th day of August, 1837, by the then Vicar of Crich, Derbyshire, to a large assembly. We are told that the vicar appeared much excited, and read the prayers in a hurried manner. Without leaving the desk, he proceeded to address his flock for the last time; and the following is the substance thereof: “To-morrow, my friends, this living will be vacant, and if any one of you is desirous of becoming my successor he has now an opportunity. Let him use his influence, and who can tell but he may be honoured with the title of Vicar of Crich. As this is my last address, I shall only say, had I been a blacksmith, or a son of Vulcan, the following lines might not have been inappropriate:—

If you expect anything more, you are deceived; for I shall only say, Friends, farewell, farewell!” The effect of this address was too visible to pass unnoticed. Some appeared as if awakened from a[Pg 13] fearful dream, and gazed at each other in silent astonishment; others for whom it was too powerful for their risible nerves to resist, burst into boisterous laughter, while one and all slowly retired from the scene, to exercise their future cogitations on the farewell discourse of their late pastor.

From Silkstone churchyard we have the following on a potter and his wife:—

In memory of John Taylor, of Silkstone, potter, who departed this life, July 14th, Anno Domini 1815, aged 72 years.

Also Hannah, his wife, who departed this life, August 13th. 1815, aged 68 years.

On a poor woman who kept an earthenware shop at Chester, the following epitaph was composed:—

Our next is from the churchyard of Aliscombe, Devonshire:—

Here lies the remains of James Pady, brickmaker, late of this parish, in hope that his clay will be re-moulded in a workmanlike manner, far superior to his former perishable materials.

In the old churchyard of Bullingham, on the gravestone of a builder, the following lines appear:—

In Colton churchyard, Staffordshire, is a mason’s tombstone decorated with carving of square and[Pg 15] compass, in relief, and bearing the following characteristic inscription:—

In the churchyard of Longnor, the following quaint epitaph is placed over the remains of a carpenter:—

Here are some witty lines on a carpenter[Pg 16] named John Spong, who died 1739, and is buried in Ockham churchyard:—

Our next is from Hessle, near Hull, and is said to have been inscribed on a tombstone placed over the remains of George Prissick, plumber and glazier:—

On a dyer, from the church of St. Nicholas, Yarmouth, we have as follows:—

[Pg 17]In Sleaford churchyard, on Henry Fox, a weaver, the following lines are inscribed:—

Our next epitaph, from Weston, is placed over the remains of a useful member of society in his time:—

On an Oxford bellows-maker, the following lines were written:—

The next epitaph, on Joseph Blakett, poet and shoemaker of Seaham, is said to be from Byron’s pen:—

The following lines are on a cobbler:—

Respecting Robert Gray, a correspondent writes: He was a native of Taunton, and at an early age he lost his parents, and went to London to seek his fortune. Here, as an errand boy, he behaved so well, that his master took him apprentice, and afterwards set him up in business, by which he made a large fortune. In his old age he retired from trade and returned to Taunton, where he founded a hospital. On his monument is the following inscription:—

[Pg 19]

He died at the age of 65 years, in 1635.

In Rotherham churchyard the following is inscribed on a miller:—

On a Bristol baker we have the following:—

Here lie Tho. Turar, and Mary, his wife. He was twice Master of the Company of Bakers, and twice Churchwarden of this parish. He died March 6, 1654. She died May 8th, 1643.

On the tomb of an auctioneer in the churchyard at Corby, in the county of Lincoln, is the following:—

In Wimbledon churchyard is the grave of John Martin, a natural son of Don John Emanuel, King of Portugal. He was sent to this country about the year 1712, to be out of the way of his friends, and after several changes of circumstances, ultimately became a gardener. It will be seen from the following epitaph that he won the esteem of his employers:—

To the memory of John Martin, gardener, a native of Portugal, who cultivated here, with industry and success, the same ground under three masters, forty years.

This character of him is given to posterity by his last master, willingly because deservedly, as a lasting testimony of his great regard for so good a servant.

He died March 30th, 1760. Aged 66 years.

The next is on the Tradescants, famous [Pg 22]gardeners and botanists at Lambeth. In 1657 Mr. Tradescant, junr., presented to the Ashmolean Museum, Oxford, a remarkable cabinet of curiosities:—

We have here an epitaph on a grocer, culled from the Rev. C. W. Bardsley’s “Memorials of St. Anne’s Church,” Manchester. In a note about the name of Howard, the author says: “Poor John Howard’s friends gave him an unfortunate epitaph—one, too, that reflected unkindly upon his wife. It may still be seen in the churchyard.—Here lyeth the body of John Howard, who died Jan. 2, 1800, aged 84 years; fifty years a respectable grocer, and[Pg 23] an honest man. As it is further stated that his wife died in 1749, fifty years before, it would seem that her husband’s honesty dated from the day of her decease. Mrs. Malaprop herself, in her happiest moments, could not have beaten this inscription.”

[Pg 24]

Typographical Epitaphs.

The trade of printer is rich in technical terms available for the writer of epitaphs, as will be seen from the following examples.

Our first inscription is from St. Margaret’s Church, Westminster, placed in remembrance of England’s benefactor, the first English printer:—

To the memory of William Caxton, who first introduced into Great Britain the Art of Printing; And who, A.D. 1477 or earlier, exercised that art in the Abbey of Westminster. This Tablet, In remembrance of one to whom the literature of this country is so largely indebted, was raised, anno Domini MDCCCXX., by the Roxburghe Club, Earl Spencer, K.G., President.

In St. Giles’ Cathedral Church, Edinburgh, is the Chepman aisle, founded by the man who introduced printing into North Britain. Dr. William Chambers, by whose munificence this stately church was restored, had placed in the[Pg 25] aisle, bearing Chepman’s name, a brass tablet having the following inscription:—

To the Memory of Walter Chepman, designated the Scottish Caxton, who under the auspices of James IV. and his Queen, Margaret, introduced the art of printing into Scotland 1507 founded this aisle in honour of the King, Queen, and their family, 1513. Died 1532. This tablet is gratefully inscribed by William Chambers, ll.d.

The next is in memory of one Edward Jones, ob. 1705, æt. 53. He was the “Gazette” Printer of the Savoy, and the following epitaph was appended to an elegy, entitled, “The Mercury Hawkers in Mourning,” and published on the occasion of his death:—

[Pg 26]It has been truthfully said that the life of Benjamin Franklin is stranger than fiction. He was a self-made man, gaining distinction as a printer, journalist, author, electrician, natural philosopher, statesman, and diplomatist. The “Autobiography and Letters of Benjamin Franklin” has been extensively circulated, and must ever remain a popular book; young men and women cannot fail to peruse its pages without pleasure and profit.

In collections of epitaphs and books devoted to literary curiosities, a quaint epitaph said to have been written by Franklin frequently finds a place. He was not, however, the original composer of the epitaph, but imitated it for himself. Jacob Tonson, a famous bookseller, died in 1735, and a Latin epitaph was written on him by an Eton scholar. It is printed in the Gentleman’s Magazine, February, 1736, with a diffuse paraphrase in English verse. The following is at all events a conciser version:—

The volume of his life being finished here is the end of Jacob Tonson. Weep authors and break your pens; [Pg 27]Your Tonson effaced from the book, is no more, but print the last inscription on the title page of death, for fear that delivered to the press of the grave the Editor should want a title: Here lies a bookseller, The leaf of his life being finished, Awaiting a new edition, Augmented and corrected.

The following is Franklin’s epitaph for himself:

The body of Benjamin Franklin, Printer (Like the cover of an old book, its contents torn out, And stript of its lettering and gilding), Lies here, food for worms. But the work itself shall not be lost, For it will, as he believed, appear once more, In a new and more elegant edition, Revised and corrected By The Author.

But it is not at all certain that Franklin was not the earlier writer, for the epitaph was certainly a production of the first years of manhood—probably 1727. There are other epitaphs from[Pg 28] which he may have taken the idea; that, on the famous John Cotton at Boston, for instance, in which he is likened to a Bible:—

There is a similar conceit in the epitaph on John Foster, the Boston printer. Franklin would probably have seen both of these.

On the 17th April, 1790, at the age of eighty-four years, passed away the sturdy patriot and sagacious writer. His mortal remains rest with those of his wife in the burial-ground of Christ Church, Philadelphia. A plain flat stone covers the grave, bearing the following simple inscription:—

This is the inscription which he directed, in his will, to be placed on his tomb. We give a[Pg 29] picture of the quiet corner where the good man and his worthy wife are buried. English as well as American visitors to the city usually wend their way to the last resting-place of the famous man we delight to honour.

FRANKLIN’S GRAVE.

A printer’s sentiment inscribed to the memory of Franklin is worth reproducing:—

Benjamin Franklin, the * of his profession; the type of honesty; the ! of all; and although the ☞ of death put a . to his existence, each § of his life is without a ||.

Dr. Franklin’s parents were buried in one grave[Pg 30] in the old Grancey Cemetery, beside Park Street Church, Boston, Mass. He placed a marble monument to their memory, bearing the following inscription:—

Josiah Franklin and Abiah, his wife, Lie here interred. They lived lovingly together, in wedlock, Fifty-five years; And without an estate, or any gainful employment, By constant labour and honest industry (With God’s blessing), Maintained a large family comfortably; And brought up thirteen children and seven grand-children Reputably. From this instance, reader, Be encouraged to diligence in thy calling, And distrust not Providence. He was a pious and prudent man, She a discreet and virtuous woman. Their youngest son, In filial regard to their memory, Places this stone. J. F., Born 1655; Died 1744 ÆT 89. A. F., Born 1667; Died 1752 ÆT 85.

It is satisfactory to learn that, when the stone became dilapidated, the citizens of Boston replaced it with a granite obelisk.

A notable epitaph was that of George Faulkner,[Pg 31] alderman and printer, of Dublin, who died in 1775:—

In the churchyard of Bury St. Edmunds, Suffolk, is a good specimen of a typographical epitaph, placed in remembrance of a noted printer, who died in the year 1818. It reads as follows:—

Here lie the remains of L. Gedge, Printer. Like a worn-out character, he has returned to the Founder, Hoping that he will be re-cast in a better and more perfect mould.

Our next example is profuse of puns, some of which are rather obscure to younger readers,[Pg 32] owing to the disuse of the old wooden press. It is the epitaph of a Scotch printer:—

Sacred to the memory of Adam Williamson, Pressman-printer, in Edinburgh, Who died Oct. 3, 1832, Aged 72 years. All my stays are loosed; My cap is thrown off; my head is worn out; My box is broken; My spindle and bar have lost their power; My till is laid aside; Both legs of my crane are turned out of their path; My platen can make no impression; My winter hath no spring; My rounce will neither roll out nor in; Stone, coffin, and carriage have all failed; The hinges of my tympan and frisket are immovable; My long and short ribs are rusted; My cheeks are much worm-eaten and mouldering away: My press is totally down: The volume of my life is finished, Not without many errors; Most of them have arisen from bad composition, and are to be attributed more to the chase than the press; There are also a great number of my own; Misses, scuffs, blotches, blurs, and bad register; But the true and faithful Superintendent has undertaken to correct the whole. When the machine is again set up (incapable of decay), [Pg 33]A new and perfect edition of my life will appear,

Elegantly bound for duration, and every way fitted for the grand Library of the Great Author.