Fun & Nonsense

INTRODUCTION

THE BARBER

Said Chocolate Drop the Barber, "Why, bless my ugly soul! I'll ask that stick of peppermint To be my Barber pole."

THE REFUSAL

"Dear, sweet Lady Cracker, My passions you know." "And I scorn them, Judge Wafer, As you're lacking in dough."

A HOPELESS CASE

"What is the use?" quoth the Whitewash Brush, "I'll comb my hair no more; For try as I will to make it lie, It still stays pompadour."

THE GREENHORN

A lettuce walking out one day, Lost his head, so lost his way; A Pumpkin happened on the scene, And said it came from being green.

OLD MR. MATCH

Old Mr. Match gave his head a good scratch, And his face lighted up with a smile; "It is getting quite dark, but with my cheery spark I will lengthen the day for awhile."

THOUGHTS UNSTRUNG

"Alas! I fear my mind doth wander. As o'er this narrative I ponder; I usually know what I have read, But this time I have lost the Thread."

THE MISER

The Pocketbook has money, On that subject he is daft; But when one strikes him for a loan He answers, "I am strapped."

DR. KEY'S ANSWER

"Shine?" inquired the Monkey Wrench Of Stately Doctor Key; "No!" replied that haughty soul. "No Monkey-shines for me."