TALES OUT OF SCHOOL

BY

FRANK R. STOCKTON

NEW EDITION.

NEW YORK: CHARLES SCRIBNER’S SONS, 1916

Copyright 1875 BY SCRIBNER, ARMSTRONG & CO. Copyright 1903 BY MARIAN E. STOCKTON

[Pg i]

PREFACE.

It is not generally considered proper to tell tales out of school, but I shall venture it in this book. And if any of the Arabs, or tigers, or Cabordmen, that I tell tales about, do not like it, they can come to me and find as much fault as they please. I shall be glad to hear what they have to say.

But I shall not tell all the tales myself. The lady who in “Round-about Rambles,” took you to Pompeii and many strange and interesting places, will tell you some of these stories.

[Pg ii]

[Pg iii]

CONTENTS.

[Pg 1]

TALES OUT OF SCHOOL.

COLONEL MYLES’ ADVENTURES IN AFRICA AND INDIA.

He had shot many a buffalo. Indeed he sometimes thought that he had shot too many, for out on our Western prairies it was often impossible for him to use the meat, or even to take the skins of the animals that fell before his generally unerring rifle. And the Colonel was very much opposed to the useless slaughter of wild animals. If the buffaloes did any harm while alive or could be put to any use when dead it was all very well to shoot them. Otherwise, not.

And yet, whenever Colonel Myles saw a buffalo he could not help shooting at it, if he happened to have his gun with him.

So he made up his mind that he would go abroad and hunt animals that ought to be killed.

Now you understand how the Colonel happened to go to Africa.

A COMFORTABLE TRIP.

His sporting experiences did not commence as soon as he set foot [Pg 3]on “Afric’s burning shores,” and indeed it was several months before he could make all the arrangements for a trip through those portions of the country where wild and savage beasts, worthy the bullets of such a hunter, were to be found.

Some parts of his journey were very pleasant, even when he saw no game, because of the novel modes of traveling.

For instance he was carried many miles in a sort of portable lounge which was borne on the heads of four negroes. The Colonel lay at ease on this elevated conveyance, which had a little fence on each side to keep him from rolling off, and hoops so arranged that when it rained or the sun shone too brightly, a canopy might be thrown over him without interfering with his comfort.

Here he could lie and read or smoke while his swift-footed bearers carried him along at a rate which would have obliged a horse to hurry himself considerably in order to keep up with them.

Another time, accompanied by a number of negro soldiers, and preceded by a set of fantastic savages who danced before him with horns on their heads and shields and spears in their hands, he rode for many miles upon a well trained native bull.

This steed was not very fast, but he had great endurance and traveled very easily and pleasantly, without seeming to mind in the least the black fellows who leaped and shouted in front of him in a way that would have frightened the soberest old horse that ever hauled a sand cart.

Perhaps the bull knew that these men were merely trying to impress upon the mind of the Colonel that they were wonderfully brave, and that with their spears and their yells they could scare away any enemy that might be encountered, while in fact a white man with a couple of pistols could have frightened them out of their wits in about half a minute.

THE COLONEL ON THE BULL.

But whether the bull knew this or not, he paid no attention to the [Pg 5]dancing braves, and carried the Colonel faithfully for many a long mile.

But Colonel Myles did not always travel on bulls or in hammocks. After a time he found an admirable horse, on which he rode on many a hunting expedition.

Among the first large animals he hunted—he did not count deer and such small game—were rhinoceroses, of which there were a great many in that part of the country.

One of his first hunts of the kind began in rather a curious manner.

He had heard that there were rhinoceroses to be found in a certain hilly part of the country, and, accompanied by two negroes, he started on his horse quite early in the morning.

Reaching some very rough ground, he thought it better to climb over the rocks on foot, so he tied his horse to the branch of a tree and set off with his companions to reconnoitre. They walked up and down through the bushes, and over gullies, searching for the big animals they were after, but not a horn of one of them could they see.

At last, returning somewhat discouraged, they reached the top of a little hill, and there their eyes were greeted with an unexpected sight.

They saw a rhinoceros, a big fellow too, but he was not hunted,—he was hunting!

And what was especially startling was that he was hunting the Colonel’s horse!

The great beast had caught sight of the horse, tied to the tree, and was charging down upon him at full speed.

When they arrived on the scene, the rhinoceros was quite near the horse, who was rearing and pitching with terror, and pulling furiously at his bridle. The rhinoceros had his head down and his long sharp horn seemed to be almost under the poor horse.

Another second and the horse would certainly perish.

[Pg 6]

THE RHINOCEROS SEEMED ALMOST UNDER THE POOR HORSE.

[Pg 7]

But in that second the Colonel’s rifle was at his shoulder and a sharp shot rang out in the air.

The ball struck the great beast just behind his shoulder. It did not kill him, but it stopped his onward course. He turned toward the hill, and at that moment the horse tore himself loose and galloped away.

The rhinoceros now advanced towards the three men. But he found them very different kind of game from a poor horse tied to a tree.

Again the Colonel’s rifle rang out and Mr. Thick-hide rolled over dead.

This was the first rhinoceros Colonel Myles had ever shot, and he was proud of his achievement, as well he might be, for it is not an easy thing to kill a rhinoceros.

If you do not hit him in exactly the right place you might as well fire at a brick wall.

But Colonel Myles was a capital shot, although he had never had such difficult creatures to shoot as this great animal which now lay at his feet. Perhaps his alligator hunts in Florida had taught him how to aim at iron-clad game, but there is a difference between shooting alligators and rhinoceroses. If you miss the alligator there is generally an end of the matter, for he will plunge into the water as soon as he can, and disappear. But if you miss the rhinoceros he will plunge after you, and if you cannot disappear very rapidly there may be an end of the matter, but in the wrong way.

The horse did not run very far, and one of the swift-footed negroes soon caught him.

This was not the only occasion when a rhinoceros proved a very dangerous animal to hunt. One day the Colonel was out with a large party. One man besides himself was mounted on a horse, and there were half-a-dozen negroes on foot, well armed with guns.

[Pg 8]

THE RHINOCEROS AFTER THE COLONEL.

[Pg 9]

For some time they scoured the country without finding any signs of a rhinoceros, but at last the tracks of one were discovered, and he was followed up to his retreat.

When Colonel Myles first caught sight of him he was standing quietly under a tree. Our hunter took a good aim at him and fired, but just as he fired, his horse, apparently bitten by a fly, gave a start, and the ball struck the rhinoceros on one of his heavy flaps of skin, with just enough effect to make him turn around to see who was there.

Then the Colonel fired again—he had a double-barreled rifle—and this time the ball struck the rhinoceros fair on the nose, and it made him mad. Without stopping to consider the matter, he turned squarely round and charged down straight upon the hunters.

The Colonel had no time to reload his gun, so he put spurs to his horse and dashed away as fast as he could go.

The other man on horseback did not wait for the savage beast to come after him but galloped off in another direction. As to the negroes, they seemed to forget that they had guns, or else they thought that if the Colonel could not hit the beast in the right spot there was no use in their trying to do it. At any rate they took to their heels. As the rhinoceros dashed on, he ran right over one negro, knocking him heels over head, and he came after the Colonel and his horse at a rate that gave good reason to expect that in a minute or two he would get his horn under the horse and toss him over.

But the horse was a good one and he kept ahead of the beast until his rider loaded again. Then the Colonel turned and as he was so near the rhinoceros he put a ball into him that rolled him over dead.

This was one of the most dangerous hunting expeditions in which Colonel Myles ever engaged. Had his horse been a poor one, or had he stumbled, there would have been no more hunts in Africa—or anywhere else—for our hero.

[Pg 10]

He soon had another rhinoceros hunt, which was not dangerous, but very peculiar.

He started out with four negroes on horseback, and none of them were armed with anything but the swords of the country, which are not exactly the things with which to cut sheet-iron, or rhinoceros hides.

The Colonel was well mounted, and of course had his rifle. Before long two rhinoceroses were started up together, and they rushed out of the bushes so suddenly and dashed away in such a frightened way that the Colonel could not get a shot at them. Whichever way they ran there was always a negro between his gun and the flying beast.

Perceiving that the rhinoceroses were trying their best to get away, the negroes became very brave, and rode after them as if they intended to chop them up into little pieces, if they could only get some fair cracks at them.

In fact they were so enthusiastic, and kept so close to the rhinoceroses that it was impossible for the Colonel to fire at the animals without running the risk of killing a black man, and so on they went as hard as they all could gallop. The rhinoceroses seemed like a couple of great fat hogs, but they could run famously, and it was as much as the hunters could do to keep up with them.

One darkey kept ahead of the rest, and quite close to the flying beasts, and he whacked away at their thick hides, with no other effect than to make them run faster.

The other negroes shouted and yelled as if they were trying to frighten the rhinoceroses; and, at any rate, to make them run as fast as they could.

The Colonel held his gun ready to fire if he could get around where he could have a fair shot, but his shouts to the negroes to fall back and leave the beasts to him were totally disregarded. They had found some game that was afraid of them, and they were going to chase it, as long as it would run away.

[Pg 11]

CHASING A PAIR OF RHINOCEROSES.

[Pg 12]

The result of it all was that the rhinoceroses ran into some heavy brushwood where the Colonel’s horse could not follow them, and he did not get even one shot at them.

It was very disappointing to him, after having been so close to the game. But he made up his mind that he would never again go hunting when there were mounted negroes in the party. They put themselves forward entirely too prominently.

These negroes were excellent fellows to run after any thing which was not apt to run after them.

The Colonel once saw a very funny incident which exhibited this quality in the natives in a very striking manner.

In a village where Colonel Myles was staying, making arrangements for a hunt, there was a large elephant, which belonged to another village some forty miles away.

This elephant was rather an unruly beast, and did not at all like his new quarters, or the new driver who had charge of him.

He seemed to be home-sick, and he gave a great deal of trouble by his uneasy disposition. One day he broke loose, and no sooner did he find himself at liberty than he determined to go home.

So off he started at the top of his speed, but he had not gone far before his flight was discovered, and six or eight negroes, snatching up their swords, immediately gave chase.

They were all on foot, but they could run so fast that they soon caught up with the elephant.

But then all their trouble commenced. He wouldn’t stop!

They shouted, they yelled, they brandished their swords, and running before the great beast, they tried their best to make him stop.

But the elephant, with his trunk and his tail in the air, strode along at a tremendous pace. He did not seem to like his company, for he bellowed loudly as he ran, but they could no more stop him than a lot[Pg 13] of spring chickens could stop you if you took it in your head to run home some day in recess-time.

The negroes sprang in front of the elephant, until it seemed as if he certainly would run over them, and they dashed at him from all sides, waving their swords in his face as they shouted to him to halt, but he kept bravely on until the Colonel lost sight of the party.

Together, they ran four or five miles, and then the negroes thought they might as well give up that chase as a bad job, and the elephant went on to his home unmolested.

THE ELEPHANT WANTS TO GO HOME.

[Pg 14]

If he had known what he ought to do, he would have turned on those darkies and chased them about half a mile. In that way he would have managed very soon to relieve himself of his troublesome pursuers. They would have gone home quite as rapidly as he wanted to go to his home.

Colonel Myles staid in Africa nearly a year and sometimes had a good deal of exciting hunting, and at other times weeks would pass when he was obliged to stay in some native village for want of transportation and guides.

Sometimes too, he found himself in a part of the country where there was no large game worth mentioning.

He tried hard to find a gorilla, but never succeeded. He often heard lions in the night, and once came upon a big fellow who was lying down by the side of a fallen tree in the very road over which he and his followers were traveling. The tree was of a yellowish brown color and the lion was of very much the same color, so the Colonel did not see him until he came quite near to him.

As quickly as possible he jerked his rifle from his shoulder, but his horse started and reared, and the lion sprang to his feet, and giving one hasty look at the advancing party, disappeared in the bushes.

The Colonel was very much disappointed at this mishap, and it was shortly after he had made up his mind that he never would get a good shot at a lion, that he concluded to go to India.

A party of traders were on their way to the coast, and the Colonel joined them.

Reaching the coast he found a vessel nearly ready to sail, and in it he took passage to Bombay.

He was in India nearly two months before he had an opportunity to try his favorite rifle on any large game.

He preferred to hunt tigers, for tigers are such scourges to the localities in which they are found that he felt justified in killing as many[Pg 15] of them as he could. But it turned out that his first hunt was a buffalo hunt—and not only his first but his second and third, and a good many after that.

He got in a part of the country in which there were a good many buffaloes, and as they were needed as food it paid very well to hunt them, and there were always natives enough who were willing to help if they might have a large share of the meat.

One day one of these natives had a little more buffalo hunting than he wanted. The colonel perceived a very large fine bull buffalo standing in an open space and was just about to take a good aim at him when the animal began to trot off towards a dense thicket. The colonel was afraid of losing him and so he fired too quickly. If he hit the buffalo at all he merely wounded him very slightly, for he dashed off into the thicket.

The native attendant, however, was quite sure that the buffalo had been fairly hit and would soon drop, so off he rushed to find him.

While he was pushing his way through the thicket he heard a crashing noise, and looking around saw the savage bull charging down upon him from a little eminence where there was a comparatively open space.

The man had a gun, but it was not loaded. There was no chance of his running away, for the bushes and reeds were too close and strong to allow of that. There was no tree near but one very thick one, up which he had no time to climb.

The bull stopped for an instant, and then put down his head for another charge.

The man had no time to do much thinking. Whatever he did in self-defence must be done quickly, that he knew well. So he darted behind the tree, and jerking his blanket from his back he put it on his gun-barrel and waved it about.

The buffalo immediately accepted the challenge, and came at him[Pg 16] full tear. He rushed at the cloth, and as he passed he took it away on his horns. Then the native hurried off as fast as he could go in the opposite direction.

The colonel, who had loaded up and was waiting for his attendant to return, was very much astonished to see a buffalo rush out of the thicket with a blanket twisted about his horns.

The animal evidently did not notice him, and so he raised his rifle and shot him dead without the slightest trouble.

THE NATIVE’S TRICK.

As soon as the buffalo was quite dead, the native appeared from the thicket and immediately began to boast of the share he had had in killing the animal.

It is quite certain that had he not succeeded in his very clever trick[Pg 17] the buffalo would either have killed him or would have got away safely.

A week or two after this the Colonel was invited by an officer in the English army, named Major Alden, to go wild boar-hunting with him.

The Colonel was quite willing, and so they set out together for the river, some three miles away, where they expected to find a wild boar or two. A crowd of natives preceded them, beating up the bushes to drive out the boars.

Our hunters were both well mounted and armed with long spears instead of guns. The Major, who wore an undress uniform, carried also a short sword.

They had scarcely reached the river-bank when they saw a boar rush out of some underbrush and make rapidly for the river.

Both horsemen dashed off in pursuit, Major Alden in advance. Just as he reached the edge of the high bank the Major thought that he had better rein up, but he did not think soon enough. He stopped quite near the brink of the bank, and was on the point of turning back, when the earth caved in beneath his horse, and down into the water and mud, some ten feet below, went horse and rider!

Fortunately the river was not very deep at that place, but it was deep enough. The Major went head foremost over his horse’s neck into the water, and the horse with a tremendous splash, went into the mud as far as his legs would let him go.

Just in time, our Colonel reined up, and below him he beheld a doleful sight.

The Major had risen to his feet but was dripping with mud and water that fell in little cascades from his face, head, and hands and every part of his body.

The horse was plunging wildly in the river and the poor Major did not seem to be able to see how to find his way to dry land.

[Pg 18]

THE MAJOR’S TUMBLE.

If the Colonel had been a boy he would have had a good laugh at this mishap of his companion, but as he was a man he tried not to add to the discomfiture of the Major by making fun of him. But when the native beaters came up they set up a shout of laughter, and that[Pg 19] made the Major angry enough, and as he wobbled slowly to shore he growled out to the “black rascals” a command to stop their noise, and get his horse out.

The black rascals, although they did see a good deal of fun in this unfortunate tumble, proved themselves very useful, for they cleaned the horse and saddle, and while the Major took a bath in the river, (at a place where it was deeper and with a better bottom) they dried his clothes and brushed them with bunches of twigs until they looked quite presentable, and in the afternoon they all set out again on their hunt.