THE PREFACE.

Beloved Country-men,

Had I not more respect to my Countries good in general, than any private interest of mine own, I should not have introduc’d my Friend upon the common Theatre of the World, to act the part of a Rogue in the Publick view of all. Rogue! did I call him? I should recal that word, since his Actions were attended more with Witty Conceits, then Life-destroying Stratagems. It is confest, the whole bent of his mind tended to little else then Exorbitancy; and Necessity frequently compelled him to perpetrate Villany: And no wonder, since he lived in the infectious Air of the worst of most Licentious Times. But still I blame my self for stigmatizing him with such an Opprobrious Title, since in the declination of his days, the consideration of his former Wicked Courses hath wrought (I have so much charity for him to believe it) in him cordial contrition, and unfeigned repentance: and the truth of it is, Man should be regarded not for what he was, but what he is.

Since his Reformation, I have taken very great delight in his Conversation, and never went from him but with great satisfaction in the Ingenious Relation of the transactions of his youthful days: And frequently revolving them in my mind, Reason suggested to me, the History of his Life could not but be as profitable as pleasant, if made publick. For herein you may see Vice pourtrayed in her own proper shape, the ugliness whereof (her Vizard-Mask being remov’d) cannot but cause in her (quondam) Adorers, a loathing instead of loving. Wherefore, with my Friends free consent, and being instigated thereunto by many persons inferiour to few, either for Birth, Education, or Natural Parts, I attempted this Essay.

If any be so curious to know what the (Actors you have in the Title) Authors name is, let me crave his pardon for his concealment, and answer him with Plutarch to an inquisitive Fellow, Quum vides velatum, quid inquiris in rem absconditam? It was therefore covered, because he should not know what was in it. It is enough that the Actor hath shown himself willing to declare freely, and without mincing the truth of what he hath done, without knowing who writ it; if the Contents shall as well please as admonish, no matter what I’m call’d. But if you are so desirous to know what the Writer is, I shall briefly inform your curiosity: But I doubt I have undertaken what I cannot perform; for if to know a mans self be more then an Herculean Labour, then without doubt it is beyond the limits of my power to tell you what I am; neither can any man truly know another, unless he first knows himself.

For some few years, the World and I have had a great falling out; and though I have used all probable and possible means, we remain yet unreconcil’d.

My only comfort is, I have a small treasure in Minerva’s Tower, by which I subsist; and by the benefit thereof, can walk abroad, not without taking Observation both from what I hear and see; and returning home, Tam Aulæ vanitatem, quam Fori ambitionem ridere mecum soleo. I can with Democritus laugh at the Actions of men, extracting Wisdome from their Follies, and afterwards lash them with a Rod of Experience made of their own fond inconsiderateness.

As for my part, I am onely a Wise-acre, (a Retort once put upon Ben Johnson), for I have no Acres of Land. But therefore don’t be so unadvised, (as too many are of late) to regard not so much the worth of the Work, as the dignity of the Person. Qui similiter in legendos libros atq; in salutandos homines irruunt, non cogitantes quales, sed quibus vestibus induti sint. They mind not so much what, as who writ it; not the Quality of the Thing, but the Quality of the Author, and a Person of Honour (now adays) being set in the place of the Writer, makes the Book received with a general applause. Pardon as well my Satyrical as Cynical Humour. If any dislike what I have writ, let them let it alone, or publish themselves something of a better Composition. I shall not value any ones Censure, for I have already Antidoted my self against it, by my own dis-esteem I have hereof. I am so far from being Opinionative, that you cannot speak worse then what I judge of it.

Thus you see, as I will not arrogate, so I shall not derogate: for as I am so many Parasanges after such a one, yet I may be an Ace above thee, if thou art too Censorious.

But some may say, That this is but actum agere, a Collection out of Guzman, Buscon, or some others that have writ upon this subject; Crambem bis coctam apponere; and that I have onely squeez’d their Juice, (adding some Ingredients of mine own) and afterwards distill’d it in the Lymbeck of my own Head. Non habes confitentem reum, I ne’er extracted from them one single drop of Spirit. As if we could not produce an English Rogue of our own, without being beholding to other Nations for him. I will not say that he durst vye with either an Italian, Spanish, or French Rogue; but having been steept for some years in an Irish Bogg, that hath added so much to his Rogue-ships perfection, that he out-did them all by out-doing one, and that was a Scot; I need not use the Epithite Roguish, since the very name proves it a Tautologie. If I have borrowed any thing, it was not from what past the Press; but what I have taken upon the score in Discourse, &c. I here repay with Usury, but not in the same Commodity. Etiamsi apparet unde sumptum sit, aliud tamen quam unde sumptum fit,

apparet. I have not done as the Romans, who robb’d the whole Universe to enrich their ill-sited City; Rome I mean. I skimm’d not off the Cream of other mens Wits, nor Cropt the flowers in others gardens to garnish my own Plots; neither have I Larded my Lean Fancy with the Fat of others Ingenious Labours; but from the dictation of my own Genius, I have exprest quicquid in buccam venerit, what came next, without much premeditation or study. Gramercy Sack, if happily I have hit the mark.

I am no Aquæ potor, an implacable Enemy to Small Beer; all the Purchases I can boast of, lies in Wine, which is by Moderns highly esteemed for improving good Wits, infusing Elogies and Hyperbolical Exornations, forming such hard Words in the Brain, as shall, like Acesta’s arrows, catch fire as they flie. But I have wandered from that common rode, respecting more the matter then words. For my Stile is plain and familiar, rejecting bombast Expressions, thinking them most happy when most easily to be understood.

As for the Matter it self, if it be faulty, or the Method rude and indigested, consider, Quod nihil perfectum vel singulari consummatum industria, No man can observe all things; neither is it to be imagined that all Rogueries can be perform’d by one man. Not but that when you have read him, you will find him Notorious enough.

Some men are not content to commit Villany themselves, and boast of it too, but they will rob others of that which they should be asham’d to own. In this there is little or no Fiction, I’ll assure you; and there is no Story therein which doth not carry with it more then the bare probability of truth. Should I speak much more, it is to be fear’d some will argue from hence, that I am conscious to my self of its various defects; and therefore I shall desist from Apologizing for it, or my self.

Sensible I am, that if ought be omitted or added, which the Reader likes or dislikes, he will account me Mancipium pancæ lectionis, an Idiot, an insipid Asse; nullus sum, vel Plagiarius, a very Thief, and that I stole other mens Labours. Thus do I know I shall be vilified and undervalued even by such, that are so far from being capable of judging of Ingenuity, that they know not how to write Orthographically six words of sence in their own Mother-tongue. Yet I must confess, what is writ, is neither as I would, nor as it should, it being usher’d into the world as it was first written; whereas I should have done with this, as a Physitian advised should be done with Lapis Lazuli, to be washt fifty times before used: had not immergent Affairs hindred me, I would have licked this Cub into a more comely Form. But since ’tis otherwise, I shall onely complain with Ovid:—

All the favour that I shall desire, is, That the Reader would not account the Printers literal or verbal Escapes mine; and withal pass a candid interpretation on each Line; and I shall endeavour in a short time to become more satisfactory, and study how I may be always serviceable to my Country.

ONThe English Rogue.

The Preface to the Reader.

When this piece was first published it was ushered into the World with the usual ceremony of a Preface, and that a large one, whereby the Authour intended and endeavoured to possess the Reader with a belief, that what was written was the Life of a Witty Extravagant, the Authours Friend and Acquaintance. This was the intent of the Writer, but the Readers could not be drawn to this belief, but in general concurred in this opinion, that it was the Life of the Authour, and notwithstanding all that hath been said to the contrary many still continue in this opinion. Indeed the whole story is so genuine and naturally described without any forcing or Romancing that all contained in it seems to be naturally true, and so i’le assure you it is, but not acted by any one single person, much less by the Authour, who is well known to be of an inclination much different from the foul debaucheries of the Relations, & if the Readers had read the Spanish Rogue, Gusman; the French Rogue, Francion; and several other by Forraign Wits, and have upon examination found that the

Authors were persons of great eminency and honour, and that no part of their own writings were their own lives; they had happily changed their opinion of the Authour of this; but they holding this opinion caused him to desist from prosecuting his story in a Second Part, and he having laid down the Cudgels I took them up, and my design in so doing was out of three considerations, the first and chiefest was to gain ready money, the second I had an itch to gain some Reputation by being in Print, and thereby revenge my self on some who had abused me, and whose actions I recited, and the third was to advantage the Reader and make him a gainer by acquainting him with my experiences. This were the reasons for my engaging in the Second part, and the very same reason induced me to joyn with the Authour in composing and Writing a third and fourth Part, in which we have club’d so equally, and intermixt our stories so joyntly, that it is some difficulty for any at first sight to distinguish what we particularly Writ and now having concluded the Preface, which should never have been begun but

that I had a blank page, and was unwilling to be so ill a husband for you, but that you should have all possible content for your money, and withal to tell you that I would not have you as yet to expect any more parts of the book, for although a fifth and last part is design’d, yet i’le assure you there is never a stitch amiss, nor one line Written of it, and if you desire that, you must give me encouragement by your speedy purchasing of what is already Written; and thereby you will ingage

The Epistle to the Reader.

Gentlemen,

It hath been too much the humour of late, for men rather to adventure on the Forreign crazy stilts of other mens inventions, then securely walk on the ground-work of their own home-spun fancies. What I here present ye with, is an original in your own Mother-tongue; and yet I may not improperly call it a Translation, drawn from the Black Copy of mens wicked actions; such who spared the Devil the pains of courting them, by listing themselves Volunteers to serve under his Hellish Banners; with some whereof I have heretofore been unhappily acquainted, and am not ashamed to confess that I have been somewhat soiled by their vitious practices, but now I hope cleansed in a great measure from those impurities. Every man hath his peculiar guilt, proper to his constitution and age: and most have had (or will have) their exorbitant exiliencies, erronious excursions, which are least dangerous when attended by Youthfulness.

This good use I hope the Reader will make with me of those follies, that are so generally and too frequently committed every where, by declining the commission of them (if not for the love of virtue, yet to avoid the dismal effects of the most dangerous consequences that continually accompany them.) And how shall any be able to do this, unless they make an introspection into Vice? which they may do with little danger; for it is possible to injoy the Theorick, without making use of the Practick.

To save my Country-men the vast expence and charge of such experimental Observations, I have here given an accompt of my readings, not in Books, but Men; which should have been buried in silence, (fearing lest its Title might reflect on my Name and Reputation) had not a publick good interceded for its publication, far beyond any private interest or respect.

When I undertook this Subject, I was destitute of all those Tools (Books, I mean) which divers pretended Artists make use of to form some Ill-contrived design. By which ye may understand, that as necessity forced me, so a generous resolution commanded me to scorn a Lituanian humour or Custom, to admit of Adjutores tori, helpers in a Marriage-bed, there to engender little better than a spurious issue. It is a legitimate off-spring, I’ll assure yee, begot by one singly and soly, and a person that dares in spight of canker’d Malice subscribe himself

On the approvedly-ingenious, and his loving Friend, Mr. Richard Head, the Author of this book.

To his respected Friend, the Author.

On his deserving friend the Author.

CHAP. I.

What his Parents were. The place of his own Nativity. His miraculous Escape from the hands of Irish Rebels. His brother being at that very time murdered by the merciless hands of those bloody Butchers.

After a long and strict Inquisition after my Fathers Pedegree, I could not find any of his Ancestors bearing a Coat: surely length of time had worn it out. But if the Gentle Craft will any wayes ennoble his Family, I believe I could deduce several of his Name, Professors of that lasting Art, even from Crispin. My Fathers Father had by his continual labour in Husbandry, arrived to the height of a Farmer, then the Head of his Kindred: standing upon one of his own Mole-Hills, Ambition so swelled him, that he swore by his Plow-share, that his eldest Son (my Father) should be a Scholhard: and should learn so long, till he could read any printed or written hand; nay, and if occasion should serve, write a Bill or Bond.

It was never known that any of the Family could distinguish one letter from another, neither could they speak above the reach of their Horses understandings. Talk to them in any other Dialect but that of a Bag-pudding of a Peck, or a piece of Beef, (in which their teeth might step wet shod) and a man were as good to have discoursed with them in Arabick. But let me not abuse them; for some understood something else that is to say, The Art of Whistling, Driving their Team and to shoo themselves as well as their Horses; how to lean methodically upon a Staff and through the holes of their Hat, tell what it is a Clock by the Sun.

The symmetricall proportion, sweetness of features, and acuteness of my Fathers wit, were such (though extracted out of this lump of red and white marle) that he was belov’d of all. As the loveliness of his person gain’d always an interest in Female hearts; so the quickness of apprehension and invention, and the acquired quaintness of his expressions; procured him the friendship of such as converted with him. A Gentleman at length taking notice of more then ordinary natural Parts in him, at his proper charge sent him to School contrary to the desire of his Father, who was able enough to maintain him at School; and to say the truth this Gentleman offered not my Father his patronage upon any charitable account, but that he might hearafter glory in the being the chief instrument of bringing up such a fair promising Wit, which he questioned not with good cultivation would bring forth such lovely fruit as would answer cost, and fully satisfie his expectation. Being admitted into the Grammar-School, by the strength of his memory, to his Masters great amazement, in a very short

time he had Lillies Rules by heart, out-stripping many that for years had been entred before him; his Master perceiving what a stupendious proficiency he had made, was very glad that this fair opportunity offered it self, that he might be idle, and in order thereunto would frequently appoint my Father to be his Usher or Deputy, when he intended to turn Bacchanalian, to drink, hunt, or whore, to which vices he was over-much addicted. My Father having now conquered in a manner the difficulties of that Schools learning began now to lay aside his Book, and follow the steps of his vicious learned Master, the examples of a Superior proving oftentimes guides to inferior actions,

Besides his springing Age (wherein the blood is hot and fervent) spur’d him on, and the natural disposition of his mind, gave him wings to flye whither his unbounded, licentious, self pleasing will would direct. His Youth introduced him into all sorts of vanity, and his Constitution of body, was the Mother of all his unlawful pleasures. His Temperament gave Sense preheminence above Reason. Thus you see (which experience can more fully demonstrate) how the heat of Youth gives fewel to the Fire of Voluptuous Enjoyments; but without a supply of what may purchase those delights, invention must be Tenter-hooked, which ever proves dangerous, most commonly fatal. My Grand-father too indulgent to his son, supply’d him continually with mony; which he did the more freely, since he was exempted from such charges which necessity required for my Fathers maintenance, he having now more than a bare competency, he not only consents to the commission of evil, but tempts others to perpetrate the like. And now following his own natural proneness to irregular

liberty, diurnaly suggests matters of innovation, not onely to his own, but others reasons, Lectum non citius relinquens quam in Deum delinquens, non citius surgens quam insurgens. No sooner relinquishing his bed, but delinquishing his Creator, No sooner rising than rising against his God. In short, I know not whether he prevailed more on others, or others on him, for he was facile; the best Nature is most quickly depraved, as the purest flesh corrupts soonest, and most noisom when corupted. Yet notwithstanding these blooming debaucheries, he neglected not his Study so much, but that he capacitated himself for the University, and by approbation was sent thither by his Patron. He applyed himself close to his Book for a while, till he had adapted himself a companion for the most absolute critick could be selected out of any of the Colledges: in the assured confidence of his own parts, he ventured among them, and left such remarks of his cutting wit in all companies he came into, that the Gallants and most notable Wits of Oxford, coveted so much his company that he had

not time to apply himself to his Study, but giving way to their sollicitations, being prompted thereunto by his own powerful inclinations, plunged himself over head and ears in all manner of sensuality. For his lewd carriage, inimitably wicked practises, and detestable behaviour, he was at last expelled the Colledge.